It’s exciting when a booking message appears in your inbox. But this excitement can quickly turn sour if you know the person from your “vanilla life”.
Today, we’re exploring what you should do if someone you know tries to book an escort session. From navigating a rejection with grace to setting firm boundaries, we’re looking at all your options.
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So, you’ve opened up your inbox and found a message from someone you know outside of sex work. Whether it’s an old acquaintance, a colleague, or a friend, this can be a very uncomfortable position for escorts – especially if you’re not open about your profession.
Here are a few tips to help you navigate the situation and work out whether you want to take the booking:
First, stop and take a deep breath. It’s easy to make an impulsive decision after seeing a familiar face in your messages.
But instead of sending an emotional message, walk away from your phone or laptop and let your thoughts settle. Before you respond, you need to think about what you want to do with a cool and calm mind.
Some deep breaths or a fast-paced walk outside are helpful in this situation. So, use your self-care techniques to achieve a relaxed state.
Reflect on your gut reaction once you’ve taken a few moments to chill. Does the message make you feel sick? Or is there something slightly exciting about the idea of meeting someone you know?
Typically, your gut reaction depends on how well you know the punter and whether people you know in real life understand your career.
If your instant reaction was a NO, it’s best not to push yourself into seeing them. However, if you feel a pull towards taking the session, there are a few more questions to ask yourself.
There’s a big difference between an old acquaintance and someone you see everyday. If there’s a chance the punter genuinely doesn’t recognise you from the past, you’re probably okay to do the session.
However, if you see them weekly and their request for a session is out of the blue, you might want to consider how it’ll affect your relationship going forward.
Likewise, you should also think about how taking the session will affect you in the future. If you’re discreet about your career and don’t want certain people to find out, it might be best to avoid taking bookings from people you know.
It might not affect you if you’re open about your career and the punter doesn’t make you uncomfortable. But remember, mixing business and your personal life isn’t always advised.
If you’ve decided that you don’t want to take on the booking from someone you know, there are a few options.
The first one is to simply ignore the message. It’s not abnormal to ghost unwanted escort requests, and your silence will let them know it’s a no. However, some punters might decide to keep messaging, which might become unpleasant and angry.
To avoid angry messages, it’s sometimes a good idea to send a polite rejection. You might want to say you’re not taking bookings at this time or not working for the foreseeable future. This way, you’re providing a neutral excuse that skips around the topic of knowing each other.
If a client won’t back off, you’ll need to set a boundary and say you’re not taking their booking. After you’ve clarified that, stop replying to their messages, and they should leave you alone. You may also want to block them from contacting you again.
Do you have a good feeling about the message request? Don’t think you have to block someone straight away.
While the general consensus is not to book people you know, it’s not always that simple. They might be an old acquaintance, and maybe there used to be chemistry between you. If you don’t have a bad feeling about the situation and are okay with them knowing you’re an escort, it’s not as cut and dry.
However, you must still treat the interaction like any normal client. Be aware that they might ask for discounts because you know each other.
Don’t give them any discounts or free sessions because you know each other – this reduces your credibility as a service provider. Instead, you must use the same tone of voice and provide the same service options as usual.
Also, remember, you can say no and back out at any point. If you book someone you know and change your mind before the day, you can still cancel the meeting. Consent is critical!
Perhaps you’re not an escort but have an Only Fans or webcam show. A similar issue is when someone you know tries to subscribe to your platform. While you won’t meet in person, it can still be awkward, and you might not feel comfortable with people you know outside of work seeing your content.
Some sex workers are relaxed about people they know seeing their professional work. There’s always a risk of someone finding out what you do or seeing the material. However, you still have the right to block or remove people from your subscription list.
So, if you don’t feel comfortable, block or remove the follower. You don’t need to message them or contact them off the platform. Out of sight, out of mind!
If this happens, it’s worth considering how comfortable you are with the profession. While you can use an alias and hide your face, the chance of someone finding your content is never impossible.
It’s always strange when your personal and work life collides. But it doesn’t have to be a disaster. Hopefully, this blog has helped you work out the next steps to take and whether you want to make the booking or not. Remember, you never have to do anything you’re uncomfortable with.
Learn more about sex work and how to build a business online here.
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