Sex & Relationships

How to engage in a voyeurism fetish that’s consensual and healthy

Perhaps unsurprisingly, a recent study found that more than half of all adults in the UK watch porn. What people don’t know is that porn is actually a type of voyeurism and it is also one of the most popular forms of voyeurism.

However, what is the appeal of the voyeurism fetish and how can you engage in it in a healthy and legal way?

Fortunately, it isn’t as difficult as you might think. While voyeurism and voyeur sex can often get a bad rap, it can actually be an enjoyable way to explore your sexuality and bond with your partner or partners.

Keep reading and learn more about the details of voyeurism below. 

What is voyeurism?

When it comes to the question, “What is voyeurism?” or “What is a voyeurism fetish?” the answer is actually quite simple.

Voyeurism is the act of deriving sexual pleasure from watching someone. The subject being watched is usually involved in some kind of sexual activity with another person, but the subject can sometimes be alone such as naked in the shower or bath.

Watching someone undress is also a type of voyeurism. 

Is voyeurism legal?

You might be asking yourself, “Is it a crime?” After all, doesn’t it seem somewhat like an invasion of someone’s privacy? The answer is that it can sometimes be a crime.

Voyeurism is only legal as long as the subject has consented to be the observed subject. It is not legal if you are spying on someone, whether it is someone you know or a stranger if the person has not consented to observation.

Taking pictures or recording someone involved in lewd acts without their consent is also illegal.

Voyeurism law is important to understand and consent is always key. If you are watching someone without their consent and deriving sexual pleasure from it, you could get in legal trouble.

This is also the difference between good and bad voyeurism. 

Bad voyeurism is always when someone disrespects someone’s sexual consent. Even if the person never finds out that you are watching them, this is still bad voyeurism and you could be charged with an invasion of privacy or worse.

It is also not a good start to having a healthy sex life. 

Good voyeurism, on the other hand, is when you and a partner have agreed to a voyeuristic situation. So, one partner agrees to be the subject while the other person agrees to watch the subject. 

Why do people enjoy voyeurism?

Voyeurism is unique compared to other types of fetishes because it does not necessarily involve sex. Rather, it is all visual. The voyeur will derive sexual pleasure from watching someone who is naked, undressing, having sex with someone, or pleasuring themselves

If you have never tried engaging in voyeurism before, you might be wondering what the appeal is, especially if there is no actual sex involved for the voyeur. But what is a voyeur if not someone who enjoys the visual act of sex?

Many people are voyeurs and don’t even realise it. Anyone who watches pornography can be considered a voyeur.

Those who watch pornography cannot participate in the actual sexual act that they are watching. 

Instead, they resort to self-pleasure as a result of watching other people have sex. The excitement of voyeurism comes from observing the details of people having sex.

Some people like to see the act of penetration or how people react to different sex positions

It is also a different way to experience sex. Traditionally, sex is all physical and one has to get in touch with the physical sensations of sex in order to enjoy it.

However, voyeurism incorporates the visual element more than anything.

Voyeurism also gives the voyeur new perspectives on sex and sex positions that one might not be able to see when engaging in traditional sex (unless you have mirrors in your bedroom).

The voyeur may also like the feeling that they are doing something wrong or forbidden, even if it is all part of a consensual roleplay fantasy.

Some people even like being watched by voyeurs. If you were wondering, “What is the opposite of voyeurism?” the answer is exhibitionism. Exhibitionism involves one who enjoys displaying themselves sexually in front of someone. 

Trying voyeurism in a healthy and responsible way

Many people think that voyeurism always has to have a non-consensual aspect to it, but this is not the case. If you want to have a responsible sex life, especially as a fetish voyeur, you will need to understand that.

After all, many people watch porn and enjoy it and it is a perfectly legal form of voyeurism. 

It involves recordings or live videos of people who are consenting to have sex or be naked in front of people. However, pornography can be limiting for voyeurs since you can only do so much when watching porn.

On the other hand, there are ways you can engage in healthy voyeurism without porn such as with your partner. 

Before you start any voyeuristic endeavours, it is important to tell your partner about your desires. This way, your partner will be able to better understand what you want sexually and be able to consent.

You and your partner can also discuss voyeuristic scenarios or fantasies that you (or both of you) might have. 

This will make it much easier to bring voyeurism into your life and it will all be perfectly legal. Roleplay is one of the easiest ways you can try it out for the first time.

You and your partner can come up with a fantasy that will allow you to be the voyeur while your partner is the subject. 

For example, one partner could pretend to be a burglar in the house watching the other partner shower or undress.

While the subject will know that they are the subject and have already consented, the roleplay scenario brings to life the fantasy that the subject does not know that they are being watched. 

Other ways to engage in voyeurism

As mentioned before, roleplay is one of the easiest ways to try voyeurism for the first time. That’s because it involves a lot of fantasy and imagination and does not require too much effort. Also, because it is all fantasy, you can really let your imagination go wild. 

However, if you’ve never tried roleplay sex before, you may be too nervous to start with it. That’s fine because many people require some practice before they get over the first awkwardness of roleplaying in the bedroom.

Another simple way you can try voyeurism is by watching your partner pleasure themselves.

For example, one partner tells the other they will hide in a nearby space while the other partner pleasures themselves. The voyeur may decide to hide in a closet, just outside of the room, or in another space. From that space, the voyeur has the opportunity to watch.

The voyeur will then be able to observe the partner’s body more closely on a sexual level. As mentioned before, voyeurism offers the opportunity to observe sex from afar, which cannot be done when actually engaging in sex.

The voyeur will also have the chance to see what turns the other partner on the most. 

The voyeur may also tell the other partner to do certain sexual acts to heighten one or both partners’ pleasure. However, this is not a necessity. Some voyeurs prefer to stay silent and play into the fantasy that they are really hiding out and watching someone. 

Also, voyeurism can include sex at some point. After some time watching the other partner, the voyeur may decide to finally join their partner and have sex.

However, this is not always the case and both partners may prefer to pleasure themselves individually. 

Tips for engaging in voyeurism

Always make sure that your partner consents to your voyeurism fantasies. If your partner is unsure about them at first, have patience and don’t force them to change their mind.

If your partner is on the fence about the idea, they may come around at some point or they may not. 

Pressuring someone to accept your sexual fantasies is never a good idea and it can make your partner uncomfortable. 

If you and your partner don’t know how to get started with voyeurism, watching pornography may be a good idea. Porn videos may give you some ideas that didn’t occur to you.

You can then use those ideas in your roleplay fantasies such as watching someone take a shower or undress in front of a window. 

As you try voyeurism more and more, you will eventually become more accustomed to it and you will be able to identify what you like and don’t like about it. With time, you will be able to fine-tune your voyeuristic fantasies. 

The takeaway

Voyeurism often gets a bad rap. However, as long as it is consensual, voyeurism can be enjoyable for both you and your partner and it can help fuel your sexual fantasies.

Viva Team

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Viva Team

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