Losing your virginity is a major step in your life that can happen at any age. Some people lose it early; others lose it later in life. Either way, the entire experience can be tense, and there’s no shame in feeling anxious about it.
Regardless of gender or sexual orientation, it’s important to be knowledgeable before having sex for the first time. This will allow you to prepare yourself mentally, physically, and emotionally. It also ensures that your first time is done respectfully with clear respect for your and the other person’s boundaries.
So, here’s an in-depth guide with all the different things you need to know about having sex for the first time. Whether you plan on losing your virginity soon or sometime in the future, it’s important that you go through this guide beforehand.
Read on to learn more.
Understanding consent and communication
The very first thing to understand about having sex is the importance of consent and communication. You should never do anything to or with your partner without their express consent.
When having sex for the first time, there’s no harm in asking your partner if you can do something before performing the act. This ensures that they are comfortable with whatever you plan on doing and that you don’t surprise them and cross a boundary.
This is also why communicating with your partner before, during, and after sex is important. Communicating with your partner in an open and non-judgmental way is critical in establishing your boundaries and learning about their boundaries. That way, you have similar expectations and ideas of what will happen when you enter the bedroom.
Preparing yourself emotionally
There are going to be various emotions when you have sex for the first time, and everyone’s first experience is different. Remember, losing your virginity is very important to most people. The emotions you may feel while having sex and losing your virginity, while valid, may differ from your peers or other people. That said, you must recognise the emotions that you feel and learn how to manage them to improve your first sexual experience.
Again, this is where open and honest communication comes into play. Additionally, it’s important to understand that certain relationship dynamics with your partner may change after having sex for the first time. While it’s impossible to predict how it will change, you can start preparing yourself for any possible changes to avoid being surprised.
The importance of protection
You cannot overstate the importance of protection when having sex. The majority of virgins do not want to have children after the first time they have sex, which is one of the primary reasons to use protection. However, another important thing to consider is the risk of contracting an STD, which is a major reason you should always use protection when having sex, especially when it’s your first time.
There are many options when choosing protection when losing your virginity. For penetrative and oral sex with a penis, it’s best to use condoms as they provide ample protection from unwanted pregnancies and STDs. If you have a vulva and are receiving oral sex or giving oral sex to someone with a vulva, it’s best also to wear a dental dam to prevent passing on an STD.
If you’re looking to avoid an unwanted pregnancy, you can also opt for birth control pills if you have a uterus. But for most virgins, the best and most accessible type of protection is a condom.
Setting the environment
It’s important that you’re comfortable in the environment wherein you’re having sex for the first time. If possible, it might be best to have sex in your bedroom or your partner’s bedroom, as that’s where most couples are comfortable. However, you can also opt for a hotel room as long as it’s a place where you both feel comfortable exploring.
Exploring pleasure
There’s a chance that you won’t know what to do or what you want exactly when having sex for the first time. Conversely, you may also be confused about what your partner wants. That’s why it’s important to understand both male and female sexual anatomy and how both sexes feel pleasure.
That said, it will take time for you and your partner to figure out what you like or don’t like, especially when having sex for the first time. So, don’t hesitate to communicate what you’re feeling while having sex and tell your partner things you may or may not want to happen.
Take it slow
There will be a lot of tension in the air when losing your virginity. This is why we highly recommend taking it slow with your partner and easing into the experience. If one of the partners penetrates the other, you should take it slow to prevent any pain or discomfort.
If any of you are feeling uncomfortable or if there’s pain because of anything happening during sex, communicate it to your partner right away. That way, you can stop, adjust, and figure out how to move forward.
Bring lube
Aside from preparing the appropriate protection, you also need to have the right tools. For some, this might mean sex toys (though most first-timers would rather not use sex toys). However, the most important tool you will need is lubrication. You will want there to be as little friction as possible if you’re penetrating someone or being penetrated for the first time, and lubrication will help you with that.
Don’t be afraid to laugh
With all the tension in the air during your first time, you shouldn’t be scared to break it with a bit of laughter. You or your partner might do something funny while having sex or when you’re about to have sex, and you should be free to laugh and make light of the situation. That way, there’s less pressure on both parties, and you can have the best time possible.
The takeaway
Losing your virginity can be a scary experience, especially if you’re unprepared. However, all the information you need to know about what to expect when having sex for the first time is available, and it’s up to you to read up before your first experience. Remember, everyone has a different first time, so take it slow and adjust whenever you feel like the pace isn’t right for you or you’re uncomfortable! And most importantly – have fun!
Learn more about sex and relationships via the Vivastreet blog.
