Have you ever fantasised about having sex with more than one person at a time?
Traditionally, threesomes have often been portrayed as deviant within society.
However, the truth is they are a common fantasy for many, highlighted in our 2019 research, which revealed group sex as the 7th most searched sexual fetish in the UK.
The popularity of porn and the growing acceptance of diverse sexuality and sexual preferences has helped remove some of the past stigmas associated with threesomes.
Likewise, a 2017 study reported as many as 82% of male and 31% of female respondents aged 18-24 admitted to their interest in having a threesome.
If you’re interested in bringing a third person into your sexual relations with your partner, or you are single and wish to experience the dynamics of group sex, here’s everything you should know about threesomes and turning your fantasy into a reality.
What is a threesome?
A threesome, also referred to as a ménage à trois, is when three people engage in sexual activity together.
All three participants can be single, or the situation may involve a couple inviting another person (of any sex or gender) into their bedroom.
How to have a threesome
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- Be sure a threesome is right for you – If you’re in a relationship, ask yourself this question: Are you ready to see your partner sleep with someone else? Be aware that threesomes can change or cause complications in relationships. If they are done with you and your partner, your relationship should already have a strong foundation that involves trust and communication, and you both need to be on the same page
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- Know who to ask – Are you in a relationship? If so, you need to choose your third partner wisely. If you opt for a friend, it’s best to find one you do not have a close-knit relationship with to avoid complications. It is also advised to seek a person who is open to threesomes. If you’d like to keep the affair a secret from people you know, or feel uncomfortable inviting a friend, then perhaps having a stranger come on board is the best choice, as there is no long-term attachment
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- Figure out the best way to ask – Asking someone if they can get intimate with you and your partner or companion can be awkward. What if they reject the offer? What if they get offended or feel uncomfortable? The best thing to do is to test the waters first by finding the right scenario to bring up a threesome. Only when it’s appropriate you can proceed to casually ask if they have ever had a threesome or would like to participate in one. If they’re keen, lightheartedly let them know that you’re thinking about having a threesome and ask them their feelings on the idea while still keeping it light and casual. If they are not interested, hopefully they will not take offence to your question, and your relationship can continue as usual
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- Set the ground rules/boundaries – Before arranging a threesome it’s important to establish the do’s and don’ts, especially if you’re in a relationship. For instance, you may want to include penetration and kissing during the intimate session but exclude oral sex. It all depends on what you and your partner feel comfortable with. It’s also important that everybody involved sets and confirms their ground rules to ensure that everybody is happy and comfortable.Once consent and rules have been agreed upon, everyone will know what to expect
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- Make your third person feel welcome – Arrange a meetup with the third partner before getting intimate with them. It’s a great way to break the ice and a chance to discuss boundaries and threesome sex ideas to ensure the session runs as smoothly as possible. If any of the people involved are strangers, a bonding session before the act is the perfect way to get to know them a little more beforehand and build trust with one another
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- Introduce a safe word – Threesomes can get unpredictable. It is advised to introduce a safe word with your partner just in case the ménage à trois takes an unexpected turn. Always encourage your triad lovers to always speak up if they ever feel uncomfortable
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- Have plenty of protection on hand – Just as with sex between two people, protected sex is advised when participating in a three-way. Make sure you use protective measures like condoms to ensure everyone is protected and safe. For instance, a threesome involving a guy penetrating two women will need to change the condom during each separate act to avoid the exchange of body fluids, which could potentially lead to bacterial infections like STIs
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- Research threesome sex positions and techniques – Make the atmosphere less awkward by discovering beforehand ways three people can get frisky in the bedroom. When the time comes, you don’t all want to be clueless and not knowing what to do, so be the one to make suggestions and throw some ideas out there. Why not try out threesome positions like the Double Cowgirl, Tag Team, 69 Plus One, and Double Penetration? This will make the threesome session more fun, free-flowing and pleasurable
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- Set the mood – When you’re all together, try to relax and not overthink things. Start by having a chat over a glass of wine, dinner or appetisers and get flirting. Put on music to help lighten up the atmosphere. When it’s time to start, remember you don’t need to jump into sex right away. Ease into the threesome by starting off with some foreplay or an erotic massage to help set the mood
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- Use sex toys – If there’s one thing that can make a threesome more thrilling, it is sex toys. But, as well as condoms, you must protect yourself and others by cleaning sex toys when using it or passing it on between partners. Cleansing wipes will do the trick to avoid the spreading of germs. As well as sex toys, don’t forget to add lube in the equation for extra sensation and lubrication
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- Be open to trying new things – Things may not always turn out as you thought when having a threesome. When it comes to threesomes, sexual activity changes up quite a bit. For a fun time, be spontaneous and be open to new suggestions. If you don’t try it you won’t know if you like it. However, never feel pressured into doing something you’re not comfortable with
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- Think about the aftermath – When the threesome is over, what happens next? Decide whether you want to hang out for a bit or say your goodbyes. If it went well, you can even arrange your next threesome
How to find a threesome
Finding a threesome isn’t an easy ride. If you’re not willing to have a friend participate in your triangle lovemaking, the best way to find partners or a third partner is on threesome and swinger hookup sites to meet like-minded people who are interested in experiencing this sexual act.
There are also many professional adult services, where you can find women and men who provide a threesome service.
If having a threesome is something that you are interested in, our useful tips will ensure that your threesome experience is fun, sexy, and most importantly, safe.
Disclaimer: Due to the current social-distancing measures, should you decide to participate in any sexual activity of any kind it should be with a person who you have been self-isolating or social distancing with. All parties involved should also have adhered to Government social-distancing guidelines.