You’ve met a client that’s actually impressed you in the bedroom. Now, they’re on your mind, and you can’t get the thought of seeing them again out of your head.
Should you shoot them a late-night booty call message? Or book an off-the-clock date?
Stop! It’s not always that simple. Before you reach out to a client, take a few minutes to consider all possible outcomes. Or keep reading – in this article you’ll explore geneal thoughts on this situation, the pros and cons of seeing sex work clients for free, and how to set boundaries.
Should you see a client for free?
Seeing clients you find attractive or enjoy spending time with for free is a controversial topic within the sex worker space.
Most sex workers share the opinion that seeing clients for free (even if you fancy them) is a bad idea because it can set a bad precedent for all sex workers. It devalues your time and may lead the client to expect free services from other sex workers.
The phrase “never mix business with pleasure” is often brought up in this situation. You may have enjoyed your client’s *ahem* company in the past, but is it worth possibly saying goodbye to them as a client for one night of passion?
However, it’s not always that simple – and not everyone thinks this way.
Before you proceed with the offer, it’s critical to consider potential outcomes and the general pros and cons. This will help you make an informed decision that’s best for you and your business.
Weighing up the pros and cons
Are you considering messaging a sex work client for off-the-clock fun? No matter how charming they are, take a few moments to skim these pros and cons.
Pros
- Connecting with a client outside of work can open up a night of steamy passion or even a deeper bond
- You get to explore your sexuality with someone you find attractive
- It could turn into a long term relationship
Cons
- Breaking through the work-life boundary may cause the client to push boundaries in the future
- The client may never return for paid work after a free experience – even though it’s a casual date not a session
- If the client leaves a review or speaks to friends, you might get requests from others for free sexual services
- You lose a portion of the previously regular income if the client refuses to pay in the future
You find a client attractive – now what?
If you’re reading this, there’s a chance you’ve met a client who you share a deep emotional connection and electric sexual chemistry. So, what could go wrong?
This situation is extremely difficult, as the answer ultimately depends on a future scenario you can’t predict. It’s best to base your decision on your ability to deal with the worst-case scenario.
If you’re okay with potentially losing the client and a relationship with them not happening, you’re better set to go for it than someone who’s sure that everything will be perfect and you’ll be together forever.
Even if you’re not hoping for a relationship, being prepared for the unfavourable scenario is good. In this case, it might be never seeing the client again or being pestered for free sessions in the future.
Unfortunately, some clients even have fantasies about wooing a sex worker and getting a professional to see them for free. You are a fantasy for many, so keep this in mind before moving forward.
Strengthening your boundaries
No matter which route you choose, strengthen your boundaries and learn to put yourself first.
Boundaries are everything as a self-employed sex worker. Knowing when to say no and how to push back when someone crosses the line will protect you from timewasters.
If you’re on the fence about hitting a client up for a date, ask yourself whether you should cross this boundary. If you personally place a lot of importance on the work-life barrier, it might not be a good idea.
If you do choose to message them, consider creating new boundaries to accommodate the relationship’s evolution.
For example, one session of free, mind-blowing sex might be on the table. But repeat scenarios could be a big no.
Once a boundary is set, you must enforce it to show clients you’re serious. Otherwise, more manipulative ones might try to keep pushing you.
Learn more about setting boundaries with sex work clients here.
Ask fellow sex workers
Asking other sex workers is another excellent way to get qualified advice.
It’s tough for non-sex workers to grasp the gravity of the situation, so you might want to skip texting your friends and family.
Instead, ask your network of fellow sex workers what they think. Some may even have personal experience with the same situation.
The client perspective
It’s easy to assume that all clients would jump at the opportunity to take a free session or date from a sex worker. This is true to an extent, yet some clients might be hesitant to accept.
According to real client opinions on sex work forums, a free session would decouple the business relationship, and the client wouldn’t return again for paid sex.
Others feel like a free session would set an unspoken precedent that you would now owe the sex worker a favour – whether that be money, a gift, or a future booking.
Each client and relationship is different, so predicting how they’ll react is almost impossible. The one takeaway is the provider-client relationship will most likely be different if you meet up for a free session, regardless of how much you both enjoy it.
The takeaway
There’s no easy answer to this question – and you should not be hard on yourself if you’re tempted to message a client. You may notice that this article and many others online lean towards not doing it. This is because the situation often comes with more negatives than positives.
Remember that you can do what you want and that every situation is different. As long as you’ve considered the pros and cons, future boundaries, and consent, you can make the right choice.
Want to keep researching? Learn more about sex work on the Vivastreet blog.
