How to have a sex-positive National Girlfriend Day

Your girlfriends (and friends of all genders, in general) are an essential part of life. They’re there for you in your best moments and by your side in your worst. But they often get left out of the conversation about sex.

August 1st is National Girlfriends Day. A day to celebrate your closest friends and your inner circle. To commemorate this vital day, we’re exploring how you can foster a sex-positive relationship with your friends. No, we’re not talking about having sex with them! Instead, we’re focusing on how to be more open about sex and sexual well-being.

Curious? Shake up some cocktails, book a besties brunch, and scroll down to learn how to get the conversation flowing.

Why it’s important to talk about sex with your girlfriends

Talking about intimate moments with your best friends might make you blush. However, if you’re open to these honest conversations, you might end up with a better sex life.

If you’re not interested in talking about your sex life and know you don’t want to try it, you don’t have to. But if you’re curious about sharing your stories with friends, consider opening up the discussion at your next meet-up. You never know what you’ll learn.

Some of the benefits of talking about sex with your friends include:

• Learning about new positions, toys, and tricks – You might think you know everything, but your besties might surprise you!
• More confidence around sex – Talking about your desire with your friends might lead to you having more confidence with sexual partners
• Unpacking myths and insecurities in a safe space – We’ve all grown up being fed false truths about sex. Discussing these with your friends is a great way to explore them without judgement
• Practice being vulnerable – Showing your vulnerability to a potential partner can be tough. So, start with your friends. Talking about vulnerable topics can help you get used to the feeling so you’re not too nervous about future beaus
• Develop friendship – Talking about intimacy with friends isn’t just to prepare you for future relationships. It also deepens your friendships
• Discuss birth control and sexual health – Birth control and STIs aren’t the most sexy topics, but they’re just as important as kinks and positions! When you talk about contraception with those who also use it, you might find a new option or discover how to make life easier while using it
• Help you navigate unpleasant situations – If something in your sex life feels wrong, talking it over with your friends can give you a second opinion

The benefits of chatting with your friends about sex are endless.

However, we want to stress again that you don’t have to talk about sex if it really makes you uncomfortable. You know yourself best!

Likewise, you don’t have to give nitty-gritty details about your partner. Talking about sex and your desires without dropping your partner’s intimate information is totally possible. Be respectful of their privacy if they haven’t consented to the information being shared.

Discussing self-pleasure

Alongside sex, it can also be helpful to talk about masturbation. We often feel more shame around self-pleasure than sex, so it might take longer to be used to talking about this than sex.

However, breaking through these feelings of embarrassment can lead to higher sexual confidence and decrease any shame you feel around touching yourself. Self-love is just as important as sexual pleasure with a partner. So, being totally open can help build your general sexual well-being.

You might even get a few sex toy recommendations while you chat. Who doesn’t want to know which vibrators work the best?

Talking body positivity with your pals

Another sex-positive topic you might want to discuss is body confidence.

Introducing body positivity to the discussion can be very healing. More people suffer from internal worries about their bodies than you’d expect, so normalising human bodies and talking about shame can help you feel less alone and feel more empowered in your own skin.

You can take this to the next level by exploring body-positive yoga classes, attending workshops or talks about body positivity, or simply watching documentaries and video essays about the issue together.

Supporting your girlfriends through hard times

Sometimes, deep chats about sex can reveal your friends are in a not-so-sex-positive relationship.

Whether their partner isn’t a great lover or pushes their boundaries, these conversations are important spaces to remind each other of consent and what to do when someone doesn’t respect their wishes.

If one of your friends mentions sexual abuse or a breach of consent, remind them that this situation is not ok. It’s often easy for people to brush these situations off by saying ‘they couldn’t stop themselves’ or that they felt ‘they had to have sex.’ As friends, we must remind each other that these statements aren’t factual and that we all have the right to say no.

You should comfort them and help them understand how consent works. In some cases, it can also be helpful to refer them to sexual abuse services. For example, The Survivors Trust and Safeline. These professional charities can provide necessary help and can point individuals to counselling, therapy, independent sexual violence advocates, and other relevant tools.

These situations are rare and unpleasant. But knowing how to navigate them can make a world of difference for the victim.

Taking it slow and building a bond

Diving into your deepest fantasies and secret turn-ons might not feel comfortable at the start. Going slow can be a better option if you’re a newbie to the topic.

Invite your girls around for an evening of cocktails and slowly start bringing sex up. You might want to start with questions like ‘What was the best sex you’ve had?’ or ‘Where is the craziest place you’ve had sex?’

If you want to go even slower, ‘Who was your first celebrity crush?’ is a great place to start discussing desire.

The takeaway

Remember, talking about sex and pleasure with friends is completely normal and will benefit everyone involved. You can always tap out if you start to feel uncomfortable, though.

Cheers to friendships, and enjoy National Girlfriend Day!

Learn more about sex and relationships now. Read educational content on the Vivastreet blog now.