Intimacy after parenthood: Navigating changes in your sex life

Parenthood is wonderful but also brings major changes in a person’s life. It’s normal for couples to have a hard time getting into their rhythm postpartum, and that includes navigating intimacy.

The journey into parenthood is transformative and comes with as much joy as it does complications. If you and your partner have been struggling to find ways to get intimate with each other as you transition into your life as parents, you aren’t alone.

Below, we’ll talk about some of the changes that couples may go through when entering parenthood and some of the ways you can adjust to your new lives.

Read on to learn more.

How parenthood changes intimacy

It’s common to struggle with intimacy when you and your partner bring a child into your life, as people go through many physiological and psychological changes during parenthood. On top of that, new parents have to quickly adjust to a brand-new schedule that puts the baby’s needs in front of everyone else’s, so it can be hard just to find the time to get intimate.

One of the first things new parents may notice when they bring a child into their home is a new sleep schedule. When you have a baby at home, the parent’s sleep schedule largely depends on when the baby sleeps. This leads many new parents to sleep deprivation, which causes a drop in cortisol, which is the hormone responsible for the libido.

This means that not only do new parents struggle to find the time to be intimate with each other, but they may lose a lot of their sex drive as well. This is why building and maintaining intimacy when entering parenthood should be a top concern for any new parent.

Aside from the general exhaustion and shift of priorities when bringing a child into your home, there’s also a chance that the new parents are dealing with body image issues. The body goes through many changes during pregnancy,  and many parents who give birth struggle with their body image after giving birth, making them lose interest in having sex and getting intimate with their partner.

Lastly, it’s easy for communication to break down when entering the world of pregnancy. When dealing with your new priorities and responsibilities, some couples forget to maintain the open communication they had before the child came into their lives. Communication is integral for an intimate relationship, another reason intimacy can become a challenge when you begin parenthood.

How to navigate the changes in intimacy after parenthood

While it may seem hard to maintain intimacy as you and your partner enter parenthood, it isn’t impossible. There are some changes that you have to accept about your new life, and with that change comes a new approach to intimacy.

Now, intimacy is different for every couple. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach to keeping an intimate spark alive when starting your life as a parent. However, there are some strategies that you can try out so you and your partner have a place to start.

Communicate

The very first thing couples need to do when trying to build intimacy when entering parenthood is to communicate with each other.

As mentioned earlier, communication can break down quickly when entering parenthood. There are so many things happening at once that couples often forget to communicate their feelings and emotions with each other. In fact, this could be the main reason that you may not be feeling that intimate spark as intensely during parenthood.

The key to being able to communicate about intimacy with your partner as you enter pregnancy is to create a safe space for the two of you. It’s important that you both feel like you can speak your mind and feelings without fearing being judged.

That way, you can air your feelings and process them together. This is when you can let your partner know how you’ve been feeling about the intimacy of your relationship, where you want it to go, and whether they share the same feelings.

While it may be hard at first, everything starts with that first conversation. So, try to find the time and space for your partner to talk, and you’ll feel more connected despite the added responsibilities.

Prioritise self-care

When you bring a child into your life, it’s easy to forget about everything else going on and place all your attention on the child. While it’s important to prioritise raising your child along with your partner, new parents should not forget about self-care.

One of the most important aspects of building intimacy with another person is to feel confident in yourself. This is why self-care is critical for couples looking to establish a new type of intimacy while they navigate through the world of parenthood.

Redefine intimacy in your relationship

One thing that you and your partner must accept when entering parenthood is that intimacy will look different. No matter how hard you try to be intimate with each other like you used to, things will not be the same. That said, this allows you and your partner to redefine how you are intimate with each other and let each other know what needs must be satisfied.

Remember, intimacy goes beyond a physical connection. So, now may be the time for you and your partner to bring a more emotional aspect to the intimacy of your relationship, which opens up many new possibilities!

Create a schedule

Another great tip for new parents struggling to be intimate with each other is to create a schedule. This could be weekly, every few weeks, or however much you and your partner feel comfortable with it. That way, you have something to look forward to, and you know that there will be time dedicated to helping you and your partner establish a new type of intimacy.

The takeaway

One of the biggest changes new parents face when they bring a child into their home is intimacy. When there’s a new child that you have to raise, finding the time and space to be intimate with each other is hard, and the way that you two approach intimacy will definitely change. But if you make sure to keep an open mind and foster communication between you and your partner, rest assured that you’ll eventually find a way to reignite the intimate spark!