Following on from our article ‘Male sex workers – An insight on men in sex work’, we decided to get a better understanding of men who work in the sex industry by talking to real life male escorts.
Here’s what they revealed….
Male Escort: Oz ‘Bigdownunder’
1. How did you get into this profession?
I was working for a mobile phone company in Australia and my girlfriend at the time was an international student funded by pocket money from her parents. She wanted her independence and I wanted out of my soul destroying corporate job. She joined an escort agency with my full support and later I quit my job and we went touring Australia together and listed ourselves in newspaper classifieds both as independent escorts.
I found that as an escort I was making more money, putting certain skills and physical attributes to good use and making my clients very happy, enjoying my job and loving the fact that I had freedom to choose what services to offer or not offer, which clients to see or not see, how much to charge, when to take a break and for how long etc. At the phone company and the bank where I worked before that, I had no such freedom.
2. What is your typical day to day life as a male escort?
I always set an alarm to wake me up 8 hours after I go to bed. Then I put my phone on silent, out of reach and don’t touch it until after the alarm. I rarely have anything urgent to do first thing in the morning. There’s no rush so I take my time in the morning and start the day off at my own pace. Big luxury compared to when I had a 9-5 job. I don’t miss dragging myself half asleep into morning rush hour.
When I’m properly awake and I’ve had my breakfast and coffee, have a shower etc. I then start replying to all my text messages, WhatsApps, emails and messages via the message system built into different sites I advertise on. My reply is almost always, “which day and what time suits you? “Incall or outcall?”
Once I’ve replied to messages my day could take any shape. I use Google calendar to keep track of appointments, and I also set myself tasks on there like “write a blog post” or “answer Vivastreet interview questions”.
I go to the gym nearly every day. I enjoy exercise and it makes me feel more fresh and invigorated when I train. And being fit and looking good is important for my job.
3. Do your family / friends know about your profession?
I’m not a fan of the question but I appreciate the interview and I like Vivastreet’s blog so I’ll answer.
My family doesn’t know. I don’t tell them because they’d worry about me if they knew unless I explained what I do to them in enough detail so that they’d understand exactly what I do. I don’t know whether they’d find those details awkward or shocking or disturbing and I don’t want to find out.
4. What are the weirdest / oddest client requests you’ve had?
I used to have a regular client who was into ball-busting. The first time I met him I sat down with him and asked if he had a ball-busting session before? He said he had. I asked him to describe what he would like and tried to get a feel for what he liked about being kicked in the balls. In his case it was a form of submission. Power exchange.
He was turned on by feeling weak and helpless and at the mercy of a stronger man who has the power to hurt him. The pain was erotic for him as with each kick he felt the point driven home that he was weak and helpless and the man dominating him was irresistible and strong. Not all impact play sessions are the same. A client’s motivations for the session can be all sorts of diverse fantasies and fetishes.
I made sure he understood the risks and assured him I’d start with minimal impact and work up to harder kicks and check in with him often to see how he was doing. I felt sure he’d tell me if the kicks were too hard so I could reduce the impact and if he couldn’t take any more, he’d say so and I’d stop.
He loved that session and came back many times.
5. Have you ever felt unsafe?
Not really. I do take certain precautions. If I’m doing an outcall to a private address I make them book an Uber from their own Uber account to pick me up from my place and take me to theirs. This is to ensure the booking is not a prank and that clients can be traced should they have ill intentions.
6. Who are your typical clients?
The great majority of almost any escort’s clients are men. Middle aged or older. In my case I’ve promoted myself extensively for many years as a male escort specialising in couples and duos. As a result, the combined total of my sessions that involve either a couple or a duo or a single woman client outnumber my sessions with single men.
7. What do you think is a common misconception / stereotype about male escorts?
That escorting in general for both men and women is an easy job. If you only count time spent with clients as my work hours then I make a ridiculous amount of money for a tiny amount of time spent working. But if you look at all the time I spend on messages and marketing, I work very hard.
My day isn’t 9-5 but I put in a lot of hours throughout the day replying to messages and completing hundreds of small tasks designed to promote myself eg WhatsApp status updates and broadcasts, tweets, Instagram posts, Switter updates, setting myself available on different sites, forum posts etc. Also picture and video editing, posting new pictures to different sites, posting video clips for sale, writing blog posts, editing my website and working on SEO and site design, networking with other escorts for duo sessions,
I’ve designed and ordered business cards, harvested contact emails and mass mailed media outlets to offer to do interviews in exchange for links to my site on theirs (which is great for my websites search ranking).
I begin all these tasks starting from as soon as I’ve had my morning coffee, take time off from them whenever to enjoy my free time and hobbies, then back to work right up until bed time usually the last thing I’ll do before I sleep is something marketing related.
8. How do you believe being a male escort differs to women escorts?
The difference between female escorts and male escorts, quite simply – erections. Without one, I would not be able to do my job to a satisfactory standard and my clients would be disappointed.
9. What do you do if you don’t find a client attractive?
I don’t mind about looks. But if someone asks for a service I don’t offer, or they seem rude or pushy or aggressive or if I find anything off-putting about their manner in the way they approach me via txt or WhatsApp or email, I’ll say no thanks.
Many of my favourite clients are elderly or overweight or disabled. I value polite, respectful people who will show up, pay and have a great time with me. I don’t care whether they’re conventionally attractive or not.
10. Is it hard to have a relationship in this profession?
It hasn’t been hard for me. My girlfriend is an escort too. We’ve been together over 5 years. We sometimes do duos together. We often travel together. Sometimes she’ll go on tour and I’ll stay in UK because I have jobs booked here or vice versa but mostly we’re together and we’re very happy together.
11. What would you advise men who are thinking of getting into escorting?
Don’t use drugs, and always be protected.
Learn SEO. The best SEO is just to have a blog page on your site and post on there regularly and use the kind of keywords you want clients to find you with.
Male escort: Madison James
1. How did you get into this profession?
I decided to become an escort after several women I was dating started to comment on how different and sexy I made them feel compared to other men. I didn’t realise it at the time but I was creating a really orgasmic experience for them from start to finish and they loved it so I figured this was something other women might appreciate too. So I arranged a photoshoot, set up a website and started contacting bloggers and magazines and eventually it took off.
2. What is your typical day to day life as a male escort?
On a typical day, I’ll spend some time in the gym working out and keeping fit. I manage my admin for my escorting business in terms of responding to client and media enquiries, booking hotels and travel plans and writing for my blog and podcast. I speak to clients on the phone fairly regularly which I think is important given the type of relationships I have with them.
Before a booking, I’ll usually spend some time planning and preparing myself. If it’s a full-on BDSM session or an intense Tantric session I can spend days working on a script or preparing mentally so I can be at my best.
Generally, my clients like sex to last all night and expect multiple orgasms so I tend to only see one client per week which would usually be a 24-48 hour booking. I eat right, work out regularly and don’t ejaculate too often so all-night sex sessions are not difficult to manage.
I also run an escort consultancy for men so I mentor aspiring escorts and we also do web design so that requires a fair amount of management.
3. Have you ever felt unsafe?
For me, personally no.
4. Who are your typical clients?
My typical booking will be in a hotel with a female client aged 35 to 55 who has requested good sex and an amazing orgasm. They tend to be financially well off, professional and classy.
5. Do your family / friends know about your profession?
Yes, all of my immediate family are aware of what I do although it’s not really a topic of conversation. People are generally quite guarded about sex and my family are no different.
6. What are the weirdest / oddest clients/ requests you’ve had?
I’ve had clients ask me to urinate in their mouth, slap them unconscious, have sex with a wife, while her husband watches.
I have to give them 10 out of 10 for creativity but I generally decline these kinds of bookings and refer them on to someone else. I’m generally very open-minded and I’m definitely into kink and alternative lifestyles but I draw the line at physically hurting someone and urinating on someone’s face. Imagine trying to explain that to a judge.
7. What do you think is a common misconception about male escorts?
I can’t speak for other escorts but there are quite a few I often come across. Many people assume we don’t pay taxes because it’s generally a cash business which is illogical when you think about it. Try spending £20,000 cash and see how far you get.
They assume we sleep with any client who walks through the door so long as they pay. Personally, if there’s no attraction whatsoever, or if the vibe is off it doesn’t work for me.
Quite a few people assume that there is no genuine emotion and it’s all surface level. That may be the case for some, but I have clients who I genuinely care about and sex with them can be super intense.
8. How do you believe being a male escort differs to women escorts?
In my experience, it’s massively different. This won’t apply to every escort, but male and female clients tend to behave very differently.
Firstly, a female escort always has to be careful with male clients because men tend to pose more of a physical threat whereas female clients typically don’t. Although there can be some exceptions for both.
Secondly, in our society, we have double standards that view women who sleep with multiple partners as sluts, and men who do the same as ‘studs’. These double standards trickle into the escort world.
However, not all women are victims. Some are treated very well and live very comfortable lives from this profession. Whereas some male escorts, on the other hand, experience a rough time. It’s on an individual case by case basis.
Thirdly, I think female escorts can make considerably more money than male escorts in general as men seem to be more willing and open to paying for sex. Women, on the other hand, tend to be more discerning when it comes to choosing to pay for sex because most can get it for free very easily.
9. What do you do if you don’t find a client attractive?
If there is no attraction I will let a client know that I’m not the best-suited person to fulfil her needs as the connection would not be there. I’d let her know before the meeting and I am always very tactful but this does not happen very often.
10. Is it hard to have a relationship in this profession?
It can be difficult for some but in my experience it’s fine. If you’re honest, know how to communicate, manage expectations, and allow people to make an informed decision, you can avoid a lot of potential issues.
I’m currently seeing someone and my work doesn’t even really factor into our relationship. Her attitude is “so long as you’re honest and respectful and I get what I want from you, I’m happy.”
I’ve had other women tell me the same thing so it’s not a one-off. It all depends on your ability to be upfront and honest but many escorts are afraid of what others may think and that leads to dishonesty.
11. Have you ever been attracted to a client?
Yes, I’m attracted to many of my clients but dating a client is an entirely different story.
12. What would you advise men thinking of getting into escorting?
a. If specifically just focus on women, and want to make money, escorting may not be the best avenue as female clients tend to require more of an overall experience than male clients.
b. Every woman is different so focus on pleasing the client and take your time to learn how to push her buttons.
c. You don’t have to accept every booking that comes your way.
