Fisting is an act that’s shrouded in mystery. You might think you know what it entails, but the reality might be very different.
When completed safely and slowly, fisting can be a pleasurable experience. Forget the taboo surrounding the act. The idea could heighten your sex life if you’re intrigued by it. But don’t jump in without some serious research and education.
Are you curious about fisting? Or do you simply want to know what it involves? We’re here to help. In this blog, we’re looking at what fisting is, how to fist safely, and what risks come with the action.
Scroll down to start learning.
It’s likely you already have an idea of what fisting is.
Let’s set the record straight – fisting is the act of entering a hand into an orifice until all five fingers are concealed. This could be a vagina or rectum, and the action is much slower than expected. Many associate it with vaginas, but it’s also a popular pick for anal play.
This act doesn’t involve creating a balled-up fist shape like most expect. Fingers are slowly inserted into the vagina or anus, resulting in a “duck beak” like shape. Instead of a “punching” fist, all fingers are grouped together and as straight as possible.
Fisting tends to be more popular in some circles than others. For example, sex-positive and LGBTIQ+ circles tend to be more open-minded towards the practice. In contrast, it’s a rare addition for straight couples. But everyone can enjoy fisting, regardless of sexual preference.
So, what is it about fisting that particularly turns people on?
The key attraction to fisting is that it feels great. It provides extra stimulation and a feeling of fullness you don’t often find in intercourse. Since a fist is larger and takes up more space, much more anal or vaginal tissue is stimulated – a great sensation for anyone who wants to take their play to the next level.
Fisting isn’t just about the receiving partner, though. This act can be a large turn-on for the giver too. If you’re interested in pleasuring your partner or asserting more dominance, fisting your partner could be an enjoyable experience. Plus, it allows for eye contact if wanted. This makes the whole experience even more intimate.
Of course, fisting isn’t for everyone, and that’s okay too. Like all kinks and more extreme sexual acts, it’s not everyone’s cup of tea.
Some people have misconceptions about fisting, such as “overstretching” their vaginas. The good news is this is false. Vaginal tissue can stretch and return to its original shape as it’s designed to help childbirth. That being said, lube should always be used to help your vagina accommodate any penetration.
Fisting still isn’t a mainstream act, but that’s okay. If you are curious about fisting, you can start to explore safely with a partner. But there’s no pressure to explore if you’re not initially aroused at the thought. Remember, enthusiastic consent is a must.
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If not completed properly, some risks can accompany fisting.
For example, fisting can be hard on the receiver’s body. Though rectums and vaginas can stretch to accommodate a fist, this process doesn’t happen quickly. Tears, injuries, and muscle damage can occur with sharp movements and not enough lubricant.
The experience can also be painful without enough research. The receiver might not be left with injuries, but if the experience is uncomfortable psychological after-effects might occur.
There’s also a low risk of giving or receiving STIs during fisting. Like all sexual contact, ensure you and your partner are recently tested before engaging in sexual acts. Testing is a very common practice for most sexually active adults, so book yourself in for a quick check before your play.
If you or your partner experience heavy bleeding after fisting play, go to the emergency room. This could be a serious injury, and it’s best to get it checked out by a doctor to ensure you’re well.
Before you jump into fisting, ensure you’re clued up on the ins and outs of fisting safety. The more you know, the more enjoyable the experience will be. Here’s our complete guide on what to do before, during, and after fisting.
Perhaps this tip is obvious, but it’s always a good idea to stock up on lube before a fisting session. Lubrication is your best friend in all sexual acts, especially fisting. The more you have, the more comfortable the experience will be.
Another area to address before you start is hygiene. Ensure your partner thoroughly cleans their hands before you start to prevent unwanted bacteria exchanges. It’s also recommended that they trim their fingernails to remove the risk of internal tears.
Some couples prefer to use latex gloves as a “hand condom”. This can remove the risk of unwanted bacteria getting in, and the chance of internal scratches is lowered too.
Finally, communicate your desires. Fisting shouldn’t start until an active consent communication has happened. You and your partner must be on the same page to ensure you enjoy the play. A safeword can help here, so establish what you will do if the play goes wrong or you want to stop.
When it’s time to start, ensure you’ve applied enough lube and start with one or two fingers. With clear communication, slowly increase the number of fingers you enter until all are in. If you’re playing with vaginal insertion, clitoral stimulation is advised to take pleasure to the next level.
If three fingers are enough, you don’t need to go further. Sometimes there’s already a pleasant “fullness” at this point, and if you don’t want to push yourself, you can always stop. If you feel relaxed and aroused, keep going. Your partner must communicate each time they’re adding a new digit in, this should never be a surprise.
During fisting, keep talking to your partner and tell them what feels good. Describe how you want them to move; slow is usually best here. If you feel anything more than a little discomfort, it’s advised that you stop.
Did you know fisting removal is one more dangerous moment of this play? It’s recommended that you should cough during removal rather than taking deep breaths. Coughing helps your body to push the fist out by stimulating your muscles. You want to work with the removal, not against it.
When the play has finished, it’s time for some serious aftercare. Planning aftercare before you start is advised, as this will allow you to relax from the sex scene without extra stress. Aftercare can include cuddles, food, or talking about what you experienced with your partner. This is an important step, especially after more extreme moments.
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If you and your partner have discovered you’re both interested in fisting and you’ve had an honest conversation about your desires, it’s time to explore.
Don’t go straight to fisting, though. Start your play with foreplay, kissing, or sensual touching. Staying relaxed is paramount for fisting play, so you want to take time to get as aroused and as relaxed as possible. For some, this could include chilled music and candles; for others, this could be an initial penetration session.
When you’re ready to start fisting, it’s recommended that you generously apply lubricant and start with two fingers. Communicate how the fingers feel and add another one by one. If desired and applicable, your partner can stimulate your clitoris with their thumb or mouth to make the experience more pleasurable.
Some couples enjoy adding toys into fisting play, such as a bullet vibrator. This can be used on the clitoris, but many couples enjoy nipple play for extra sensations.
Communication should be maintained throughout the experience. Be open with your feelings; if you need to stop, let them know. Additionally, extra fingers should only be inserted if the orifice is “willing”. With lube and arousal, you should slowly be able to slip in. If you feel like you’re forcing your hand in, this is a sign that your partner’s body might not want to comply. Don’t continue here, as injuries could occur.
Remember, fisting is all about pleasure. When your partner’s fist is inside you, ask them to experiment with different slow movements. This could include slow rocking or turning. The aim here is to experience stimulation in as many areas as possible – or to create the sensation of “fullness”.
Fisting takes more preparation than other sex acts, but if you’re thorough and safe, it can be an extremely fulfilling experience. Always take it slow and apply the lube generously – more is much better than less. With practice and open communication, this can become a fulfilling part of your sex life. But only if you enjoy it.
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