The first week of March welcomes National Threesome Day, and for many couples, this means opening their minds and exploring new sexual experiences.
While there are countless articles about how to navigate a threesome as a couple, there aren’t too many guides on how to be the third party in a threesome. Some third parties are close friends of the couple, some are acquaintances, and some are complete strangers.
- Tips for being a third party in a threesome
- A quick guide to post-threesome communication
- The takeaway
Regardless of how you know the couple, being a third party can be quite tricky, especially for first-timers.
So below, we’ll discuss a few critical tips to keep in mind if you’re a third party in a threesome, along with a guide on post-threesome communication to help you ensure a fun and pleasurable experience.
Tips for being a third party in a threesome
Before we dive into the details, it’s important to understand that there’s no one-size-fits-all solution to being a third party in a threesome. The context and situation of the threesome differ for everyone, so it’s important to make adjustments depending on your personal boundaries and comfort levels.
However, to give you a good place to start, here are a few tips to keep in mind when entering a threesome as a third party:
Choose the right couple
The first rule in being a third party in a threesome is to only jump in bed with a couple with whom you’re comfortable. There are many outlets for finding couples interested in a threesome online, so it’s important that you ensure compatibility with the couple before going into the scenario. And if you’re getting into a threesome with friends, make sure that you understand the couple’s dynamic and can handle the potential backlash that may come after the threesome.
Threesomes can be quite a delicate experience. The key to a great threesome is compatibility between all three parties. So, if you’re joining a couple in the bedroom, give yourself some time to get to know them and assess if they’re the right fit for you.
Understand your role
If you’re entering a threesome with a couple, you need to understand your role. There are many ways to have a threesome, which is why it’s critical to communicate with the couple beforehand. That way, you understand what you can or can’t do, and you get to lay out your boundaries as well.
An open and respectful conversation between all threesome participants is paramount in any threesome. With that in mind, you must remember that the couple shouldn’t treat you like an object to spice up their sex life. Of course, some people are into objectification as a kink, but that’s not what we’re talking about here.
In a threesome, everyone needs to be respected, and that includes the third party. So, aside from understanding your role, make sure to let the couple know the things you will be comfortable with and things you aren’t comfortable with.
Respect boundaries
No two threesome experiences are ever the same. As mentioned earlier, each person has their preferences and boundaries that everyone in the threesome should respect.
When getting to know the couple with whom you’re having the threesome, ask them about their boundaries and express yours. That way, everything is laid out before you head to the bedroom and start the threesome.
Everything done in a threesome should have the express consent of the person and should remain within the boundaries previously agreed upon. On top of respecting boundaries, it’s critical to pay close attention to the verbal and non-verbal cues of the other people in the threesome.
If you sense that someone may feel uncomfortable with something happening, it’s always best to slow down or stop to ask them if it’s okay. This allows everyone to be at ease during the experience and makes for a more pleasurable threesome overall.
Build chemistry
To get the best experience possible during a threesome, it’s best to build a connection with both partners. Even if it’s your first time meeting or you’re having a threesome with people you aren’t exactly close with, you should take the time to establish some chemistry and build a sense of intimacy between everyone.
Threesomes are very intimate experiences that require a lot of chemistry, which is why one of the most important things to remember as a third party is to take your time. Some couples and partners may be hesitant to start a threesome right away because they’re nervous, and building chemistry allows you to manage that feeling early on.
When you build a strong chemistry with your threesome partners, it’s much easier to balance attention and communicate with them. At the end of the day, this can make for a much more satisfying threesome experience for everyone.
A quick guide to post-threesome communication
One important thing to do whenever having a threesome, whether you’re the third party or a couple bringing someone, is to communicate afterwards. This is similar to aftercare, wherein each person gets to discuss how the experience was for them, what they felt, and any other feelings they have about the experience.
This is especially important if you’re having a threesome with a couple who you’re friends with or if you’d like to build a relationship with these people after the threesome. When communicating after a threesome, it’s important to keep your mind open and have a sex-positive attitude. That way, everyone feels free to share what’s on their mind.
Not only does communication after a threesome help calm you down after the experience, but it’s also a lot of fun. This is where you and the couple can laugh about some things that happened, discuss things that turned you on, and get to know each other more as people.
The takeaway
Being in a threesome can be a lot of fun, but it’s important to remember that the experience can be different for everyone. When joining a threesome as a third party, it can be tough to navigate your place since you’re joining the bed of a couple who knows each other very well. But when you take your time to build chemistry and respect each other’s boundaries, you can be sure of a fun and memorable threesome experience!
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