When you look in the mirror, how do you feel?
If you feel depressed or sad, it might be time to address the issue. While we don’t always have to feel proud and in love with ourselves 24/7, low self-esteem can affect our confidence and relationships.
Body confidence is a complex issue. Negative self-perception can affect anyone, regardless of gender and sexual orientation. It affects everyone, but it’s an issue often brushed under the rug.
However, some kinksters have described a link between BDSM play and an overall boost in self-confidence. These two topics might seem unrelated at first, but as we look closer, there’s a link between the two.
- What is body confidence?
- How does body confidence link to BDSM?
- What is self-acceptance?
- Why should you build up self-confidence?
- Helping your partner gain body confidence
- The link between body confidence and play parties
- BDSM could be exactly what you’re looking for
We don’t believe you need to force yourself into BDSM to improve your body image. But, if you’re already a keen kinkster turned on by power play, keep reading. You might be able to use your play sessions to boost your confidence.
Are you ready to fall in love with yourself?
What is body confidence?
Body confidence, also known as body image or self-esteem, is how you view your body and the feeling surrounding your appearance.
As you may already know, this is a deeply personal topic. It’s estimated that, on varying levels, most humans deal with negative body image and confidence issues during their lives. However, for some, confidence problems run deeper. At worst, these problems can lead to thoughts of guilt and depression.
Unfortunately, many people believe they are flawed and unattractive. Thanks to impossible media beauty standards and constantly changing fashions, it’s almost impossible to fit the current “look”.
Here at Vivastreet, we celebrate diversity. We don’t believe that one “look” is fashionable. Instead, we celebrate all bodies and genders – and you should too.
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How does body confidence link to BDSM?
So, body confidence is a personal issue surrounding how we feel about our appearance. But how does this link to BDSM sex?
The kink and BDSM scene is all about power and submission. Everyone is showing their vulnerable side here, and there’s no judgement. When you enter this scene, everyone is respectful and typical beauty standards are thrown out the window.
When you submit to another, you’re stepping back and sharing your body with them. This practice is rooted in trust and can be difficult for those with low self-esteem. However, you’ll feel free once you jump this hurdle and show your true self to another. Many BDSM practitioners feel more at ease with their bodies after playing with their partners.
Additionally, seeing someone else become aroused by your body can raise your confidence. It’s important to be careful, though, as deriving your self-esteem and confidence solely from the opinions of others can lead to unhealthy thought patterns.
Also, during BDSM sessions, all partners will have an open consent discussion before getting down and dirty. If you feel comfortable, take this time to talk to your partner about your body confidence. Discuss whether you’ll be completely naked or partially nude. Some like to take it slow and wear sexy lingerie to build up confidence in front of a partner.
Is the BDSM community more accepting?
Typically, open BDSM practitioners don’t conform to social stereotypes.
Of course, anyone can practise BDSM behind closed doors. However, those who live an open kink lifestyle are already rejecting the constraints of society. Goodbye, beauty standards and fashions. This community only has time for diverse beauty and true confidence.
As you delve deeper into the BDSM scene, you’ll find communities of like-minded members with accepting attitudes. Kinksters are attracted to the “unconventional”, but when you enter this friendly community, there’s no mainstream – everyone is accepted.
The body positivity movement is prevalent in this scene too. Body positivity is an online movement which calls for people worldwide to accept their body as it is, flaws and all. Many people from all walks of life have participated in this movement by sharing unedited photos of themselves online – not just in the BDSM communities.
BDSM lovers acknowledge their kinky side as a step towards self-acceptance. Being honest with yourself about your turn-ons will also lead you to accept your looks – especially when you’re spending time in a positive environment.
What is self-acceptance?
It’s easy to talk about self-acceptance, but what does this mean?
Self-acceptance means different things to each person, but generally, it refers to confidence and love for yourself. Instead of looking in the mirror and recoiling in horror, you can accept your appearance. This is your body, and it’s here to keep you healthy and alive.
Unlike self-love, self-acceptance is an unbiased view of yourself and your perceived “flaws”. We all have elements of our body and appearance that we don’t like. But, if we learn to accept them, we can take steps toward regaining love for ourselves.
Why should you build up self-confidence?
Building self-confidence is a tough journey, but it’s worth the hard work.
Here are the top benefits of building self-confidence through BDSM:
- More fulfilling sex. Letting go of external and internal stresses is a foolproof method for more exciting sex. Focusing on your pleasure can be impossible if you can’t be at peace and in the moment. When you take time to accept your body, you’ll likely experience heightened states of arousal and more fulfilling orgasms.
- More confidence in the bedroom. Alongside higher arousal, those who practise self-acceptance tend to build higher confidence levels. This extra confidence translates into sexual confidence and an open mind in the bedroom. Whether you’re up for more frequent sex sessions or want to try new things, practising self-confidence does wonders for your sex life.
- Deeper connection with partners. Did you know body confidence can lead to deeper sexual connections with partners? Being open and vulnerable with your partner builds new levels of trust, especially when you’re baring your body to them.
- A generally positive attitude. Body confidence benefits your sex life immensely, but it can also trickle into your everyday life. Those who have built up healthy body self-talk experience a general mood boost inside and out of the bedroom.
- Less anxiety. Low self-confidence and insecurities can make you more stressed, which can snowball into underlying anxiety issues. Undoing these thought patterns, embracing your natural body, and removing excess stress in your life.
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Helping your partner gain body confidence
If you’ve realised your partner is shy or insecure in the bedroom, you might want to help them build their self-confidence. After all, you love them for who they are and want the best for them.
Boosting your partner’s confidence won’t happen overnight, and you’ll both have to work at it over some time. However, you must choose to support them along the journey to better mental health.
Here are the best ways to comfort your partner inside and out of the bedroom:
- Compliment them during sex. Nothing beats a compliment while you’re in the bedroom. Make an extra effort to vocalise how great they look while you’re making love.
- Remove any expectations about “performance”. Too often, individuals struggle with the expectation to act a certain way during sex. Thanks to porn and movies, there’s a certain way we’re supposed to react in bed. However, not everyone has loud screaming orgasms. Instead, focus on sensations and what feels good – remove the “goal” of an orgasm to remove extra pressure.
- Make the extra effort to make them feel desired. Desire doesn’t stop and start in the bedroom, keep giving your partner compliments throughout the day.
- Don’t criticise others’ bodies. Making negative statements about others’ bodies shouldn’t be happening anyway, but take extra steps not to criticise others while your partner is around.
The link between body confidence and play parties
Like body confidence, BDSM can be a personal thing. However, there is a link between BDSM parties and confidence that can’t be ignored.
A BDSM play party is a social gathering where kinksters get together and engage in BDSM scenes. Play parties always include consent and safety talks beforehand, and attendees never have to do anything they don’t want to.
So, how does a play party link to body confidence? For many, a BDSM play party allows them to experience pleasure in an open and accepting setting. At one of these events, everyone is stripped down to the same level, and normal bodies are on show. Here you’ll realise that we all have beautiful imperfections which can be attractive and sexy.
Play parties teach you to be confident in your body. Here, there’s no need to be stereotypically attractive. Plus, you never know – you could find a new side of your sexuality. What truly matters is your desires, open mind, and communication.
BDSM could be exactly what you’re looking for
Are you looking for ways to increase your body positivity? BDSM play could be for you. These kinky practices open you to new ways of loving your partner and yourself. Make sure you have open conversations about boundaries and consent before you start.
