There are a lot of factors to fingering someone or yourself that can make it feel terrific. Some people focus on the number of fingers used, while others focus on the techniques – after all, we are all different, and each woman likes something different.
In this blog post, we will go through everything you need to know to become an expert in fingering. So, whether you’re new to fingering or want to take your skills to the next level, read on for tips that will make your partner go wild.
What is fingering, and why should you do it?
Fingering is a manual stimulation that stimulates the clitoris and the woman’s vagina. Many women find fingering the perfect way to start having sex, even as a standalone act.
There are several things to take note of when fingering your partner (or yourself), including being safe, stimulating the G-spot, and being excited before penetration. That being said, fingering is an art, and not everyone can do it properly, which takes us to the following point.
How to finger someone (or yourself) properly
Fingering is often one of the first sexual acts we engage in, and whether we’re exploring our own bodies or someone else’s, it can be a fun and pleasurable way to experience sexual pleasure. It’s important to do it properly to avoid discomfort, injury, or turning your special moment into a disaster.
First of all, start slow and gentle, especially if you’re fingering your partner for the first time and you don’t know what she likes. Listen to her cues and allow her to guide you as to how much pressure she wants.
Also, pay attention to the clitoris instead of going straight to the lips. The clitoris is often the most sensitive part of the genitals, so it’s important to focus on that area if you’re looking to please her.
Lastly, make sure to check on her often and get to know what she likes, how fast or slow is best, and the parts that excite her the most. You’ll quickly become a real expert in her eyes.
The art of orgasm – tips for giving and receiving one
Orgasms – we all want them, but few of us really know how to get there. Whether you’re in it for the pleasure of giving or receiving, it’s helpful to know how to make the experience even more enjoyable.
Clean nails
When you are fingering a girl, it is instrumental to have clean nails – you should trim your nails and file them down so they are not sharp. And let’s be honest, which woman likes to see dirty, long nails on a man?
Fingering can be a very intimate act, and, at the end of the day, you’re going into her vulva, so never, ever neglect your cleanliness.
It is also a good idea to use lube when fingering her. While the vagina is self-lubricating, it will definitely help when starting.
Lubrication
The best way to find out how much lube you need is to experiment – start with a small amount and then add more if needed, but remember that the vagina is self-lubricating.
Another thing to keep in mind is that not all lubes are created equal. Water-based lubes are typically the best for fingering, as they’re easy to clean up and won’t leave behind any sticky residue. On the other hand, avoid oil-based lube as it can be messy and difficult to remove from inside the vulva.
Relaxation is key
When it comes to pleasing a woman, relaxation is key. That might sound easy enough, but it can be all too easy to get caught up in the excitement and forget to take things slow.
Fingering is all about experimentation and finding out what feels good for her and yourself, so it’s important to go at a pace that your partner is comfortable with. Pay attention to her body language and let her set the pace. She’ll likely be moving her hips and grinding against your hand if she’s enjoying herself.
And don’t be afraid to ask for feedback – even the most experienced women appreciate a partner who is willing to listen and learn.
Your partner should be aroused
Any woman who wants to experience intense sexual pleasure should learn how to finger herself correctly. But playing with fingers may take a bit of practice to get the technique right.
The first step is to make sure that she is properly aroused. This means that she should be relaxed, and her mind should be free from distractions. Once she is in the right frame of mind, you can start heading down south and exploring her intimate regions. Pay special attention to the clitoris, as it is the most sensitive area.
Experiment with different strokes and speeds until you find what’s best for her. Remember, there is no “right” way to do this – something that could work with your ex might not work at all with your new other half.
Ask what they like
Feedback is an essential part of sex, and every woman will like when she’s asked for guidance, whether it’s about fingering, penetration, femdom, or even BDSM.
While some women enjoy having their G-spot stimulated directly, others prefer a more indirect approach with kisses and sensual touches all over their bodies.
If you notice she starts to tense up or pull away, that is a good indication that you should change your method. By taking the time to learn what your partner enjoys, you can ensure that fingering will be a pleasurable experience for both of you.
Use a toy for a helping hand
If you’re looking for a little extra help when fingering your partner, a dildo or other sex toys can do wonders. The most important element is to make sure that the toy is body-safe; look for toys made from non-porous materials such as silicone.
Start by selecting a toy with a smooth surface; if you’re using a vibrator, make sure it has a flared base so that it doesn’t slip inside the body. Once you’ve found a toy that you feel comfortable with, lube up both the toy and your fingers.
Gently insert the toy into the vagina, curling it up towards the G-spot. You can then use your free hand to stroke the clitoris or play with other erogenous zones. With a little practice, you’ll be pleasing your partner or yourself like a pro in no time.
Be open-minded and creative – all women like different things
It goes without saying that, just like in other sex positions, it’s essential to be open-minded and creative. After all, every woman is different, so there’s no right way to do it.
With that in mind, try different techniques, speeds, and pressure levels to see what gets your partner hot and bothered. Remember, communication is key. So don’t be afraid to ask for feedback as you go along unless she’s enjoying it deeply, so you know she likes it. You’ll soon figure out what turns your partner on with a little trial and error.
Don’ts of fingering
You now know all the basics of finger play, but there are a few deal-breakers that can make everything somewhat unpleasant. Whether you’re new to the game or an old pro, here are some things to avoid.
Don’t start straight by the vulva
It can be tempting to target the vulva when you start fingering your partner immediately, but this is often not the most pleasurable way to go about it. Instead, try starting by gently rubbing and massaging the outer labia. With a little patience and experimentation, you’ll soon find the sweet spot.
Don’t just put your finger in and out
Fingering your partner doesn’t have to be a monotonous task. Instead, think of it as an opportunity to get creative and explore your or your partner’s body. To start with, use different strokes and speeds to find what feels good.
Experiment with circular, back-and-forth, and up-and-down motions. Pay attention to her body language and breathing patterns. This will give you clues as to what she’s enjoying.
Use your other hand to stimulate other areas of their body, such as their neck, breasts, or inner thighs. Add in some oral stimulation or use sex toys for a more intense experience and kiss her here and there.
Deeper doesn’t mean better
It’s a common misconception that deeper is always better when fingering. In reality, it all depends on the person’s individual preferences. Some women may enjoy deep penetration, while others may find it painful or uncomfortable.
Naturally, she will tell you clearly if she doesn’t like when you go deep, but you’ll learn it by yourself with experience.
If she likes it, don’t stop
As any woman knows, there’s nothing quite like a satisfying fingering session. Whether solo or with a partner, getting your fingers involved can take things up a notch. And if your partner is into it, there’s no reason to stop.
Fingering is one of the best ways to pleasure a woman, so keep those fingers moving until she reaches her climax. Trust us; she’ll thank you for it later.
Stop trying to find the G-spot
Experiment and stop looking for the G-spot. Instead, find out what turns your partner on or what makes you go crazy. This much-mythologized erogenous zone is often more trouble than it’s worth, with many women finding it uncomfortable or even painful when stimulated directly.
Instead, focus on other areas of the vagina, such as the clitoris or the inner walls. And above all else, don’t be afraid to ask for directions. Your partner will appreciate your willingness to learn, and you’ll be rewarded with some mind-blowing orgasms.
Make it a good fun
Giving an orgasm to your partner is far from being simple with fingers only, but we’re confident you and your other half will love getting wild with our suggestions.
As with all things sex-related, communication and experimentation are key to finding out what works for both, so be armed with this knowledge, and you’re sure to give her an experience she won’t forget any time soon.
